WALLS UP

_20170217_151655I smile, I’m listening to every word you’re saying, I’m not sure if it is because I am a good listener or because I find what you are saying rather interested, or it is just funny… it shouldn’t matter huh, long as I’m listening.
The ambience was lovely, the food even better, and my glass of white wine, was just the cherry on top. A dinner date it was, our second date now. I said yes because I enjoyed the first one, my best part was the flowing conversation, it’s quite rare to find such nowadays, so yes I was quite eager for this one. It started off well, the hotel was lovely, I’d never been here, I liked this side of you, you listened to what I said, I remember mentioning how I would love to come here. We were directed to our table, menus handed to us, decision time it was.
“I’ll have what he’s having…” I wasn’t clueless by the way, I just happened to be eyeing the same thing. “… thanks.”

“Something to drink?!”

_20170217_151612“White wine,” eyed the menu once more, “sweet, thanks” After smiling back, he walked away.
After studying me for a while you finally spoke…

“You drink?!” The sarcastic me was dying to come out, be nice. And here I was thinking you are also thinking about the food.

“Yes, I do…” And as if on que, the waiter was placing my tall glass of wine in front of me, my smile grew I wasn’t doing it on purpose, and the waiter placed your cup of coffee in front of you, sugar and the tea spoon right beside the cup.

The waiter then walked away.

“Really?!” Took me a minute to register what you were talking about.”

“Yes.”

“How often?!”

Wow I guess this was now an interview….keep calm the guy is just curious.

“Once in a while.”

“Mmmh just wine?!

“White wine…. yes, sweet,” Took a sip of my wine, raised my head to give him a heartfelt smile, “and whiskey….black label, I can drink other whiskeys, but black label is a personal preference.”
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t having fun with this, his facial expression changed, it’s as if he viewed me differently now, like I was another person. I could have lied but pretense was just not my thing, I knew who I was, and I wasn’t about to change anything about myself to please anyone.
You looked like you had so many questions to ask, so much you’d love to know, but you didn’t ask. Instead you just sat there and started telling me about my life, you who has known me for 3 weeks suddenly became an expert on my life, you could see the future. Based on what, an ex-girlfriend, a relative, an old friend, a colleague?! Suddenly you knew my life better than me whose living it, you have seen my entire reckless future. How I’m such an alcoholic, how I’ll constantly drunk dial you, come back home staggering, wake up to constantly nurse my hangover. How I’ll go to the club on Friday only to leave Sunday evening. You saw it all.
Did I mention the food was brought, it was rather delicious, I couldn’t enjoy it 100% though, I was still being lectured about my life…. My life,based on assumptions, how I hated assumptions.
“You don’t drink, right?!”

“No I don’t…”
I expected that response….

It’s always the sober who view those who drink as alcoholics

The men who view women as gold diggers

Women view men as unfaithful

Or just basic stereotypes

Because of somebody in there past… What about the person opposite you at that dinner table?! Conclusion are drawn, assumptions had….determination not to have their past repeated, because their walls are way up, and they’d rather not get to know someone, because they knew someone like that sometime back.
So I smiled, as I finish that was meal, that was ravishing….. Listening as you try to change me, my life, right wrongs I haven’t made, judge the me you think you know too well, save me from myself. As we conclude, and are in your car on the way to my place, there’s not much to be said……It’s unfortunate really.
You think you know, you think you’ve helped me, you think I’m not good for you because I’m just like who whoever from your past?? But do you even know me?!

And I, sick and tired of the comparisons, assumptions, stereotypes, glad to finally be home, where I can be myself 24/7, as my walls escalate a notch higher…..why should they come down really, if you never want to just get to me first?!

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10 Comments Add yours

  1. Jack2y says:

    Sssssss 🔥🔥………the things of gold stereotypes miss. Love yo self! Be yo self! But that food though 😋😋😋

    Like

    1. nabwirae says:

      🙈🙈Aaaaw thanks doll, greatly appreciated 😘😘

      Like

  2. Waithera says:

    Amazing.. I loved the article all the way… I could feel the disappointment of having being judged being one who has known you for only 3wks…Its unfortunate that stereotyping prematurely ends friendships that could have grown to be amazing….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. nabwirae says:

      Ikr….. People should stop and know someone first, thanks 😘

      Like

  3. It’s only you doll! So yes…. pretense isn’t your thing, you know? Keep at being you… Happiness will come truly from you only! I love it! 👌

    Like

    1. nabwirae says:

      Yessss exactly…. Being ourselves every step of the way
      Thanks doll 😁😁

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Diana says:

    That was an incredible article,kudos!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. nabwirae says:

      😊😊 thank you Diana

      Like

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